Non-Fiction

My thoughts about things, mostly from a spiritual perspective. Some of this material could be considered creative nonfiction.

Finding Gratitude in Our Lives

/ Clay D. / Leave a comment

None of us here on this earth got to where we are just by our own will and efforts. What we are today is due not only to our own actions but also to those of others in our lives.

Most importantly, however, is the fact that our lives are completely dependent on God’s will for us.

Even though there may be many aspects of our lives that we are not satisfied with, everything that we go through is part of His plan to mold us into the person that He wants us to be. 

One of the best ways to come to terms with this fact is by displaying gratitude to God for all the good things going on in our lives. Every person reading this has something to be thankful for.

Showing gratitude every day forces us to take notice of the small things in life that we might otherwise take for granted.

A while back I read about a simple way to flex our gratitude muscles. It’s easy to use—just remember “1 X 3 X 45.” 

What you do is look for the positives in your life for 1 minute, 3 times a day, for 45 days. You can set a reminder or alarm on your phone to pause during your busy day and perform this simple exercise. 

It takes only a minute—literally—but it could radically change your outlook on life and set you up for a lifetime of being grateful. As you’re thinking about all the good things that are going on in your life, thank God for each one of them. Thank Him that He’s working in your life each day and that He’s given you these blessings.

And don’t think that there’s nothing positive that you can be thankful for. 

We all have something that we can thank God for, even if it’s something as small as finding a convenient parking place. Maybe you didn’t have to wait long for the elevator at work. Or maybe your kids got out of bed this morning without a fuss. It could be anything.

So, go ahead and try this little exercise for 45 days. Do it every day, 3 times a day and discover for yourself what kind of difference it makes on your outlook in life.

Abraham’s Faith Vs. Our Faith

/ Clay D. / Leave a comment

“Now the Lord said to Abram, ‘Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you. And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing.’”

Gen. 12:1-2

The above verses are explicit instructions from God to Abram, whose name was later changed to Abraham. It would be difficult for Abram to misunderstand what God was saying to him. 

Abram is to “go,” then God will “show,” “make,” “bless,” and “make” again, then finally Abram will simply “be.”

Upon analyzing these two verses, all I can say is “Wow.” 

It would be nice to have that kind of crystal clear instruction from God. There would be no confusion or ambiguity. You’d know exactly what was expected of you and precisely what God would then do.

However, God rarely speaks to us in this way. Perhaps the reason why lies in the fact that today, as followers of Jesus, we have the Holy Spirit who speaks to us in a still, small voice. We have to be especially tuned into Him to hear and understand His subtle direction.

If we compare our situation today with that of Abram’s from thousands of years ago, what can we take away from it?

As I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep last night, I began thinking about the subject of faith. Specifically, I thought about the faith of Abram, given the specific instructions he was entrusted with by God, as compared to our faith today when we are so often unsure of what God’s next steps are for us. 

Are these the same types of faith? Is it fair to compare Abram’s faith with ours? He had clear, audible communication from God. All he had to do was follow His directions and he was guaranteed to be blessed.

We know that Abram is credited with having great faith.

 “By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going. By faith he went to live in the land of promise, as in a foreign land”

Heb. 11:8-9a

Selfishly I suppose, I can’t help but think to myself that it doesn’t take nearly as much faith to follow the explicit directions Abram was given, compared to the kind of faith it requires to move in a direction that you’re just praying and hoping is what God wants from you.

Why is Abraham specifically mentioned as a biblical character who displayed such great faith? On the surface, it seems all he really did was just follow orders. I could do that (at least I think I could).

Maybe it was harder than it first appears for Abram to leave his home and go to a foreign land. I know it’s not something I’d necessarily want to do. Yet, he followed God’s leading and through him the nation of Israel was formed. 

Maybe God had to be explicit with Abram because so much was on the line. If Abram had been uncertain about his calling, his faith might have faltered and the course of history would have taken a drastically different turn.

I believe that God knew what He was doing when He gave Abram those instructions. And I believe He knows what He’s doing when He whispers to us softly in the midst of our busy lives.

It’s just up to us to keep our ears close to Him.

Guard Your Plateau

/ Clay D. / Leave a comment

There is a principle I like to call “Guard Your Plateau.” It means simply that once you’ve worked hard to gain some ground over depression, anxiety, fear, worry, and doubt, do all you can to maintain it. 

Living a happy, carefree, worry-free life can be extremely difficult and takes a lot of hard work; it can be exhausting mentally and emotionally. 

The day may come when you’re thinking to yourself, You know, I feel pretty good right now. Things are going OK.

When you have thoughts like that, take extra precaution. Never let your guard down and never quit doing the things that got you where you are. When you’re worn out emotionally, it can be easy to relax and “just let go.” 

Don’t do it, however. Be watchful that you don’t slip back into old habits and old thought patterns. Reverting to behaviors of the past will drag you down quicker than anything.

Keep thinking positively. Keep saying uplifting things to yourself. Never let your foot off the gas. As I heard Joyce Meyer say in a podcast, “Gain and maintain.”

The “Guard Your Plateau” principle is just as important if you find yourself in a pit of despair. If your life seems a mess lately and nothing is going right, stand your ground. Don’t give in to more feelings of doubt, gloom, anxiety, and depression.

Build yourself up to keep yourself from falling deeper. Don’t let your situation spiral out of control and get even worse. The more ground you give up, the more momentum you give to the negative in your life. 

When you think you’re at the lowest point possible, you’re not. Things can always be worse, just as they can always be better. 

During the low times, work even harder to get back to a point where you can see the light again.

More importantly, remember that God is always with us, especially during the hard times. 1 Peter 5:7 tells us to “Cast all your anxiety on him [God], because he cares for you.”

Here’s hoping that today is a better day for you than yesterday, and that tomorrow is even better than today.

Change Your Posture, Change Your Life

/ Clay D. / Leave a comment

Did you know that you can change your entire attitude and mood just by altering your posture? Body language not only impacts those outside of us, it can also make positive changes inside of us.

It’s true. If you’re feeling down in the dumps, take a moment to sit up straight, hold your shoulders back, and hold your head high. You’ll immediately feel better. Go ahead—try it the next time you’re depressed and see if it doesn’t help you break out of the funk.

You can also make yourself feel more confident by assuming a “power pose.” Suppose you have a job interview or important meeting coming up and you’re feeling a little unsure of yourself.

Take a moment to stand up tall with your hands on your hips, your head tilted upward, and your legs slightly apart like you just scaled a huge mountain.

Or, as an alternative, try a “victory pose” with both fists high in the air over your head like you just won a boxing match (or any other sport of your choosing). 

These poses work even better if you can stand in front of a mirror where you can actually see your facial expressions and body language. It’s almost magic.

You’ll immediately feel more confident and prepared for your social interaction, whether it’s an interview, a sales presentation, or a networking event where you’ll be meeting new people.

Psychologist and author Amy Cuddy gave an excellent TED Talk a few years ago about posture and body language. Take a moment to check out either the full version or the quick and dirty condensed version.

Consistently making a few small changes at the right time can dramatically improve your life. Go on—give it a try.

Trust God and Let It Go

/ Clay D. / Leave a comment

For far too long I have over-analyzed all the negative circumstances in my life, meaning I’ve tried to categorize them and make them fit into neat little boxes. 

For example, if the car breaks down, I might dwell on where this mishap originated from. 

Was it my fault, because I hadn’t kept up with the maintenance on the car? It’s just common sense that a neglected car will eventually give out, right?

Or was the breakdown the work of Satan, our adversary? Did he cause the mechanical failure out of spite, because he hates Christians and will do anything he can to cause them problems and try to get them to doubt God.

Or did God himself create the malfunction as a means of testing me, trying to stretch and grow my patience during times of trial?

Trying to figure out such things can be quite frustrating and even maddening.

Back and forth my mind will go, first blaming God and His way of sending trials into our lives to help us grow. Then I’ll shift the blame to myself because I wasn’t proactive enough in taking care of the car. Next, my frustration will gravitate toward our enemy, because surely everything bad in life comes from him, right?

Then, one day a novel thought popped into my mind when I was in  the middle of one of “analysis sessions.”

IT REALLY DOESN’T MATTER.

The source of the trial doesn’t matter because God is in control over everything. No matter where this situation came from, it is only in my life because God has allowed it to be there. 

He has some divine purpose that will ultimately work out for my good, as Romans 8:28 tells us.

It’s simply a matter of trusting Him and His will for my life.

Besides, the universe is complex and God’s thoughts are not our thoughts (Isa. 55:8). Most likely, it’s not as simple as categorizing any particular event as “from God” or “from Satan.” 

Everything that happens in our lives has a purpose, and we can never begin to understand God’s ways.

So there…When something unexpected, or negative, or just plain undesirable happens in life, don’t try to figure it out. Just trust that God is at the helm and has everything under control.

Your Mistakes

/ Clay D. / Leave a comment

I just recently reread a tweet by Tullian Tchividjian that I saved last year. He said:

“While we can never go back to a past that we have lost or ruined, we can always go to God—a God who promises to love and use people who fail because there aren’t any other kinds of people.”

I believe his words ring absolutely true. We have all made mistakes in life. We all have regrets about decisions we’ve made or didn’t make, things we’ve done or said to other people, relationships that we’ve had a hand in ruining, plans and projects we’ve abandoned, things we meant to do but never did, or things we knew at the time we shouldn’t be doing but did anyway.

There’s no one reading this who doesn’t have mistakes they wish they could change. I do—we all do. When it’s all said and done, we’re all in the same boat and would like to take a mulligan on some part of our lives.

But there are two important things to remember about the mistakes of the past:

  1. We can’t change them.
  2. God can use them for His own divine purposes.

We first have to get past our regret. Embrace your regret, but don’t linger on it. It will do you no good except drag you down into a quagmire of self-hate and loathing. Trust me—I’ve done that and it’s not a place you want to be. Realize that like all human beings, you have made mistakes. Then move on.

Next, we need to trust God to do His work. Ask Him to use your mistakes to:

  1. Make you a better person.
  2. Help someone else.

Be unselfish with yourself. Look for ways that you can be a blessing in others’ lives. Maybe these opportunities will come as a direct result of your past mistakes—you see others making the same errors you did and you can help them make better choices.

Or maybe you have simply gained knowledge and experience that allow you to show more compassion and care—you’re able to connect with others in ways you might not have been able to previously.

Be aware of those around you. Take your eyes off yourself and look for others who need help navigating the storms of life (I’m talking to myself here mostly). See how you can lighten someone’s burden.

You’ll not only help those around you, you’ll also end up feeling better about yourself. Who wouldn’t feel better knowing that they’ve been a blessing to others?

Plus, looking outward rather than inward helps defeat feelings of depression and anxiety. It creates a win-win situation for yourself (Again, I’m talking to myself but letting the rest of you in on my inner thoughts).

Trust God—He can use your mistakes to make a better you.

God, the Master Painter

/ Clay D. / Leave a comment

God is like a master painter or sculptor. However, instead of working with a canvas, paint, or clay, each one of us is His medium. “We are his workmanship” we are told (Eph. 2:10a).

He is in the process of building a masterpiece out of each one of us. Through trials, tribulations, and discipline, He is working to create the ideal of what He wants us to be. It takes time and discomfort on our part to form the final product. 

The reason that we’re not formed into our ideal selves overnight is because it takes materials, time, and precision to create a masterpiece. Not much skill or paint is needed to make a watercolor picture on an 8 1/2 X 11 piece of plain paper. To make a masterpiece, like He wants each of us to be, requires a lot more resources.

To be certain, God could change us instantly, but that’s not the way He does things. He prefers to work within the bounds of this physical world he has placed us in. He uses the circumstances of our everyday lives to mold and make us into something better.

Each trial or challenge that we endure and come out on the other side of changes us just a little bit. Every time that He disciplines us and we learn from it, we move one step closer to what God wants us to be. “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (Heb. 12:11).

If we were instantly changed, then we could not enjoy the process of seeing ourselves become better. 

Of course, that doesn’t mean that our pathway is always pleasant. Far from it. Change is difficult, and even more so when we buck against the system that God has in place.

Far too many times, I’ve rebelled against God’s discipline. I’ve railed against Him for allowing so many challenges and tribulations in my life. It feels hypocritical even to write about this because I’m one of the ones who most needs to take all this to heart.

My rebellion has gotten me nowhere. Getting mad at God because of some trouble in life never has done me any good. I always regret it later, tell Him I’m sorry, and vow to try harder not to let the trials of life knock me off course.

I’m still working on all that obviously. I need to allow God to mold me into the piece of art He wants for me.

How are you doing with it?

Reframing How You See Your Life

/ Clay D. / 1 Comment

Too many people struggle with depression and anxiety on a daily basis—and I’m one of those people. One approach that I have used from time to time to help eliminate my worry and anxiety over the future is to completely reframe my thinking regarding it and the past.

By nature, I have always held onto the past. It’s where I’m most comfortable because it’s a known. The future is unknown of course. By thinking about the past and dwelling on the past I’m able to keep my mind in a more comfortable, secure place.

However, we don’t live in the past. We only live in the here-and-now, with the future to look forward to. So, by living in the past in my mind, I’m actually creating more anxiety for myself. What happens now is that I see my “true” life as that which I had before I left home for college. That’s the point at which one major phase of my life ended and another began.

Therefore, in my mind, all the events that have happened since I left home are cataloged as leading away from that anchor point. 

Let me explain it this way. It’s as if I’m wading into the ocean backwards with my eye on the shoreline that is getting ever farther away. My childhood is represented as my walk down the beach until I reach the edge of the water. 

Everything after that (adulthood) is represented by my wading into the water. The longer I live, the farther I get away from the shore with its supposed safety and the more treacherous my journey becomes. 

Slowly but surely, I’m wading backward out into deeper waters, getting closer to the point where I’m completely underwater. My focus is not on the direction I’m headed, but rather it’s always on the shore.

Each day of my adult life is seen as a crisis—it’s not my real life because that ended at childhood when I began wading into the water. The crisis is heightening day by day as I get deeper and deeper. There is no real living in this scenario—just survival for as long as Ican.

As you can imagine, this way of thinking makes for a very anxious kind of life.

However, by reframing my way of thinking, I can see my life in a whole different light. If I create a different schema to catalog my experience, then everything is flipped 180 degrees. If I see each new day as the beginning of the rest of my life, and all the events that come afterward as just a long extension of my real life, then a great deal of worry, fear, and anxiety is eliminated.

I have to tell myself, “My life is here and now. Everything else is in the past. This is my life, along with everything that I experience from this point on.”

But the real key is to see my life this way. I have to keep in mind the image that the past is all behind me and that the future is a great, wide road in front of me, representing all the potential that life holds.

Creating this image in my head helps me see my life completely differently. Instead of ruminating on the past and fretting because each day takes me further away from its “safety,” I’m instead focused on the future and making each day count for something. I can look forward to each day instead of being anxious because life has taken me so far from my past.

In his letter to the Philippians, Paul tells his readers that he uses that same approach:

“…forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead.”

Phil. 3:13b

It’s good to learn from the past, but not so good if you live in the past. As the motivational saying goes, “Remember the lesson, but forget the details.”

Living in the past cripples you and makes you totally ineffective for you present life. Plus, you end up fearing the future because your mind is conditioned to crave the apparent security of the past. 

That security is all a lie, however. The past has no real power, only that which you allow it to have. The present and the future are where life is truly lived.

What Do You Say When You Talk to Yourself?

/ Clay D. / Leave a comment

Did you know that the internal dialogues you carry on with yourself every day are some of the most important conversations you’ll ever have?

Hopefully, you speak good things to yourself—positive things that work toward building yourself up instead of tearing yourself down.

Granted, it’s not easy to always carry on a positive conversation with yourself. Life gets in the way. Things happen. Circumstances around us are constantly pulling at us. Negativity is everywhere you turn. 

However, you can either be your own best cheerleader or your own worst critic. You have to choose which one you’re going to be—moment by moment, every day. I’ll repeat that: It’s a moment by moment choice to be positive, not a one-time decision.

You can literally change your world by the words that come out of your mouth. Below are two verses in which the Bible tells us this.

 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.

Prov. 18:21

Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire!.

James 3:4-5)

Your tongue—your words—can either be used for good or for evil. Many people make an honest effort not to gossip or talk badly about others. However, they don’t realize that their own words are creating the opposite kind of existence than what they want!

Rather than telling yourself, “I’m worried that I won’t have the money to pay the electric bill this month,” instead say, “My mind is free and easy. I don’t have a care in the world.”

Instead of cursing your circumstances and saying something like, “That’s just my luck. Things are always turning out for the worst,” tell yourself, “Life is good. Things are going the way I want them to.”

It doesn’t matter if you don’t fully believe the words that are coming out of your mouth. The important thing is that you’re speaking positive words instead of negative words. 

When faced with another long day of work ahead of you, tell yourself, “There’s no good reason not to be happy today,” rather than saying something negative like, “Today’s just another miserable day and I’m that much closer to the grave.”

Many people say these sorts of negative things to themselves all day every day. I know, because in the past, I’ve often been one of these people. I still do it from time to time, but I’m working on getting better at speaking positive affirmations into my life—and you can, too.

Tithing – God Wants Our Heart, Not Our Money

/ Clay D. / 1 Comment

Admittedly, I’ve had a long, hard struggle with tithing. I’ve always wanted to do it, but most of the time have never felt like I really had the money to actually do so.

Deep down, I believe it’s the right thing to do. But not because it’s one of the 10 commandments (because it’s not), but because in example after example in the Bible, we see where God’s faithful servants always give Him the first part of their income or harvest.

In Genesis 14:20, Abraham did it long before the law was given: “‘And blessed be God Most High, who has delivered your enemies into your hand!’ And Abram gave him a tenth of everything.”

Jesus later reaffirmed the practice in the New Testament: “‘Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness. These you ought to have done, without neglecting the others.’”

God even tells us to test Him and see if He won’t come through by honoring our tithe.

Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And thereby put me to the test [emphasis mine], says the Lord of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need. I will rebuke the devourer for you, so that it will not destroy the fruits of your soil, and your vine in the field shall not fail to bear, says the Lord of hosts (Mal. 3:10-11).

The underlying issue is not that God wants our money. As everybody who has ever written about the issue of tithing has said, God doesn’t need our money. He owns it all anyway. “The earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof, the world and those who dwell therein” (Ps. 24:1).

Everything comes from Him because it was all His to begin with anyway. When we tithe or give our offerings, we’re just giving Him back what was already his.

He even tells us that He is the one who makes it possible for us to have any money to give away. “Both riches and honor come from you, and you rule over all” (1 Chron. 29:12a).

Then why do we need to tithe? The answer is that God wants our heart. Money is hard to part with. If we show God that we trust Him enough to give Him our money, then He knows that He has our hearts.

Jesus tells us to love God with everything we have. “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment’” (Matt. 22:37-38).

Jesus also tells us to store our treasures in Heaven because “‘where your treasure is, there your heart will be also’” (Matt 6:21).

The backstory to Malachi 3 where God tells us to test Him is that the Israelites weren’t giving God their tithes, so they weren’t giving Him their whole hearts. They didn’t trust God or revere God enough to give him the first of all their harvest and their livestock.

When God told the Israelites to tithe, he knew that if they did they would be giving their whole selves to Him. That’s what He was trying to accomplish. He didn’t want their money and he doesn’t want our money today. He wants our hearts.

When we give all of ourselves to God, we open ourselves us to receive His blessings. And that includes His peace and freedom from worry. If there’s always that one small part of us that we’re holding out and not giving over to God, He can’t fully bless us; we’ll never fully know His peace.

Tithing may not be the answer to all your problems with stress and worry, but the simple act of giving God back the money that was His to begin with may play a crucial role in your mental health. Doing so shows Him that you trust Him and are putting your life and well-being in His hands.

Try it. Tithe and see what happens. Test God just as He tells us to do in Malachi. You may be surprised with the results.