joy

You Have a Choice Every Moment of Every Day

/ Clay D. / Leave a comment

Every day you have a choice of how you want to approach life. In fact, every moment of every day, you hold within yourself the power to decide whether to be happy or not.

The catch is that that’s easier said than done. It’s quite easy to say you have all the power in your hands, but it’s something else to actually live that way. 

There are many reasons why this is so. Each day, there are a myriad of forces that come against us and make our decision to rest in joy and happiness more difficult. 

These forces can come in the form of unexpected car repairs, challenges at work, relationships that become strained and nearly unbearable, troubles with your kids, physical ailments, and the list could go on and on. 

While we might have every intention of maintaining a positive mental attitude, when we end up on the side of the road with a flat tire in rush hour traffic, that intention is easy to fly right out the window. 

No amount of positive confession is going to make the tire patch and inflate itself without your lifting a finger. 

So, what is the answer when we’re faced with unforeseen challenges? 

I’m not going to pretend to have all the answers. All I can pass along are techniques that I’ve come across and have put to use in my own life. And certainly I haven’t always been successful at doing this. 

I believe that one of the keys to success in maintaining a positive outlook during even the most trying of times is to JUST DO IT.

You may be saying to yourself right now that that “advice” is not very helpful at all. And I certainly couldn’t blame you for thinking that. 

You see, however, that your approach to your day, your week, and your life actually begins with your mindset. You have to have a burning desire, a deep-seated need to realize joy in your life no matter what. 

When you truly want to live a positive-minded life, a life that recognizes and takes in joy from the world around it, then you’ll transform your existence. 

A deep longing to see joy and hope in your life will take you far along your journey of actually realizing that joy. 

In fact, this desire forms the platform for all other efforts needed to live a joy-filled life. Without this passionate desire to see joy, you’ll fall flat in your efforts at the first sign of trouble. 

When you get a phone call about a bill you forgot to pay, your mood will go sour and your whole demeanor will change. You’ll say to yourself, “I knew it wouldn’t last. I knew something bad would happen sooner or later.”

You may even take a little satisfaction in the fact that you “knew” it all along. However, this is exactly what you don’t want to do. 

Don’t give yourself the satisfaction of saying, “I told you so,” to yourself. Your demeanor and state-of-mind will only snowball downhill from there. 

Instead, maintain your resolve to find some kind of joy in the situation, no matter how small it might be. Determine that this situation will work out for the best no matter what. 

You have a choice, every moment of every day, which way you want to take your attitude—either in a positive direction or in a negative one. It’s totally up to you.

No one else can make this decision for you, as it totally rests in your hands. What you decide to do will determine how the next minute, the next hour, and even the next day will go for you. 

Make the most of every opportunity—whether it seems at first negative or positive. Determine to find joy in the moment. 

It will take some practice to follow through with this habit, but the long-term results will be well worth it. You’ll slowly but surely experience more true joy in your life.

Trust God and Be Happy

/ Clay D. / Leave a comment

As if we didn’t already have enough reasons to trust God with our lives, could it also turn out that trusting in God will bring us happiness?

Yes, that is exactly the case. Our heavenly Father wants us to rely completely on him, so much so that He makes it that if we do trust him completely, our lives will be better for it. 

Take a look at Proverbs 16:20b in the ESV (English Standard Version):

Blessed is he who trusts in the Lord.

The word that is translated “blessed” in this verse can also be translated as “happy.” Some translations, including the CSB (Christian Standard Bible) actually render the verse that way. 

God is telling us that we will be happier and more joyful if we’ll just trust in Him and His guidance. Whenever our eyes stray away from God and onto our own way of thinking, we’ll get into trouble. It’s far better to trust in the Lord for everything, plus doing so will bring more joy into our lives.

In Psalm 34:8, we’re told:

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!

Once again, the word translated as “blessed” can also mean “happy.” Go ahead and take refuge in the Lord. Make Him your mighty fortress when the challenges of life come your way, because they surely will. 

In fact, we should make it a priority to rejoice in our trials, as we’re commanded in James 1:2-3:

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.

Let’s get to the point where we welcome struggles and challenges every day because we know they’ll increase our faith in God.

I, for one, will admit that this area has been a huge problem for me. When something goes wrong, often my first inclination is to blame God, and even get mad at Him for it.

After all, I’m a “good Christian,” right? I shouldn’t have to deal with a broken-down car or plumbing problems at 2 a.m., should I?

God never promises that following Jesus would eliminate all our problems and frustrations. What He does promise is that if we’ll take refuge in Him when faced with challenges, that we can have joy and that our faith will grow.

Furthermore, we can thrive during rough times. Just read Jeremiah 17:7-8:

Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream…and is not anxious in the year of drought.

Trusting in God wholeheartedly not only can bring us happiness and joy, it is also a potent antidote for anxiety. And in these trying times of global pandemic, chaos, and political upheaval, it doesn’t get much better than that. 

God wants and longs for what’s best for you. Take Him at His word—begin a new pattern of trusting Him with the entirety of your life, even the smallest of details. 

When you turn everything over to Him, He’ll shoulder the burden (1 Peter 5:7) and you can rest in the joy of the Lord.

Just Say No to Perfection

/ Clay D. / Leave a comment

I recently heard Stephen Furtick, pastor of Elevation Church, say something to the effect of, “It’s impossible to experience peace if you’re expecting perfection.”

I believe there is a ton of truth in that statement. Too many times I have fallen into that trap, thinking that once something specific happens, I’ll finally be happy.

Once I make $_____ a year, I’ll have arrived and I can feel like I’ve accomplished something.

Or, once I’m able to buy such and such a car, then I’ll feel good about myself.

The truth is, perfection is a rare bird. If you or I live our lives waiting for it, we’ll spend our whole lives “on hold.” 

We’ll never feel quite right inside—not until we get that one thing we’ve been waiting for. That job, that house, that car, even that spouse.

We’re told in Matthew 6:34, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

We’re not designed to live life thinking, “If only….” Today is all we have. We’re not even guaranteed that we’ll wake up in the morning and have another day on this earth.

We’ll never achieve perfection in these human bodies we inhabit. The world is a broken place, and we must accept that if we’re ever going to experience contentment and peace. 

Embrace your flaws and realize that they’re what make you who you are. 

And while you’re at it, embrace the flaws of others as well. The rest of the people on this planet are in the same situation—they’re not perfect either. Don’t hold them to a higher standard than you hold yourself.

Certainly, we should try our best. But we must realize that our best will not lead us to perfection. 

It’s not the way the world works. Since the moment that the first man and woman took bites from the forbidden fruit, we’ve been unable to attain perfection. 

Take satisfaction with what you have, where you are, and who you are. 

That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to improve ourselves. The minute you stop making forward progress you begin to slip backward.

You’re always moving in one of two directions—progressing toward a better you, or regressing toward a lesser you.

But realize that life is about the journey, not the outcome. Take joy in the steps you make each day toward making your life—and the lives of those you touch—better. 

Be glad that you have the opportunity to make a difference in the world. Just remember that it’s not about perfection, but rather about the process.

Why Is It So Hard to Cast Our Anxieties on God?

/ Clay D. / 1 Comment

“…casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”

1 Pet. 5:7

Take a moment to really think about what this verse is telling us to do. It is literally commanding us to give our anxieties and cares to God our Father because He loves us deeply and doesn’t want us weighed down with the burdens of life. 

You might wonder exactly how we’re supposed to do that, given that every person reading this is bombarded with anxiety after anxiety daily. There’s no escape from it in our hurried, frantic way of life. 

Even in slower, more laid-back cultures, there are still ample opportunities for anxiety to creep in. Anxiety and stress are a fact of life on this fallen planet we call home.

I’ll admit that I don’t fully understand how we’re supposed to give God our anxieties. I believe that you have to take this verse (plus the ones immediately before and after it) and read it along with other similar passages such as Philippians 4:4-9, Matthew 6:25-34, and Luke 12:22-31 before you can really start to get a good feel for what God is telling us. 

I’ve been reading and rereading all these verses for years, but I have yet to reach the point where I don’t struggle with anxiety and depression. All too often, I find myself worrying about finances, health, relationships, my career, or any number of other things. 

I have head knowledge about what these verses are saying—that God loves us and doesn’t want us fretting about our basic needs because He’s got it all covered. But somehow that doesn’t always translate into belief in my heart. Yes, I know that’s pathetic. I feel like I should be able to just take God at His word and not let anxiety gain a foothold in my life. 

Maybe it’s just guilt on my part. You know, I feel guilty about being such a lousy example of a Christian that I don’t feel like God’s grace could possibly work for me. 

But feeling this way is actually an insult to God. I’m essentially saying that His grace and forgiveness are not strong enough or good enough to penetrate my sin and make me clean in His eyes. 

However, I know that’s not the case—He sees me as redeemed, thanks to Christ’s death and resurrection and my belief in these two events. 

Maybe it’s hard for me to give my anxiety to God because of lingering questions. I mean, why do we have to cast our anxiety on Him? Why can’t He just swoop down with His big hand and snatch them all away from us once and for all?

That is a question for which I definitely do not have an answer. I can only guess. Perhaps it’s once again because we live in a fallen world and He chooses to abide by the effects of sin upon us humans. 

There are many evils and ills that He could rescue us from on a daily basis, but he doesn’t because our sentence is to live in a world full of sin and decay. Anxiety and depression are just two of those results of our fallen nature. 

He does, however, give us the means to lift ourselves out of the pit of despair by telling us over and over in the Bible not to be anxious, worried, and fearful. 

Perhaps the more sinful we are as individuals, the harder it is for us to remain anxiety-free. The more we lean on God and strive to obey Him, the easier it becomes to live a life brimming over with joy and happiness.

These are all just guesses—I’m no theologian; this is just me putting my thoughts into coherent words. 

Does anybody else have any thoughts on these issues?

Don’t Get Too Attached to Your Problems

/ Clay D. / 1 Comment

We all have problems and challenges in our lives—that much is for certain. 

If you’re like me, you may often feel like your problems are never going to go away, that whatever situation you’re in is permanent. I can take a quick inventory of all the negative circumstances in my life and it’s easy to picture them always being there. 

Try this exercise…Think back five years ago and try to remember how your life was and what problems you were facing at that time. Chances are, these problems were quite different from your current problems. Now picture your life 10 years ago—there’s an even greater difference between then and now.

The point is that those problems weren’t permanent, and neither are the ones you’re up against now. 

Pick a specific challenge from the past and think about it for a moment. It could be pertaining to money, health, relationships, career, or anything else. Now, think about how the problem got resolved. It most likely didn’t go away in an instant. 

Sometimes we find ourselves in a situation where a problem or challenge is immediately resolved, but it seems more often than not, the roadblocks in our path gradually fade away and become less of a concern. Or maybe they were never real problems to begin with; perhaps we were worried about something that never came to pass.

At any rate, money problems don’t right themselves overnight, and neither do relationship or health problems in most cases. Most of the big challenges in our lives take time to resolve, and the ones in your life today are the same. 

You may pause one day in the future and suddenly realize that the big challenge that had been weighing you down is gone. It happened gradually and with no fanfare, so you didn’t even notice that it was no longer in your life.

This should give us hope for our current problems. We can almost certainly count on the fact that whatever we’re dealing with now will not remain a problem for the rest of our lives. Change is the only constant, goes the old saying.

Think about it…You don’t have the same set of problems as a 40-something as you did when you were 16, do you? Of course not. Those problems from long ago seem so trivial and mundane compared to what we’re facing now, don’t they?

The good news is that today’s problems will look the same way a few years from now. You’ll look back at your current set of circumstances and wonder why you ever wasted so much mental energy worrying about them. It may not feel that way right now, but it usually works out that way.

So, the bottom line is this…Whatever problems are before you, take comfort in the fact that you won’t be forever dealing with them. There will just be new and different challenges to take their place. 

We WILL face problems in life, so we’ll do better by coming to terms with that fact sooner rather than later. It just won’t always be the same problems.

Maybe we should start viewing life as a series of puzzles or challenges that need figuring out. Who knows, that might put more joy in our lives, rather than filling us with frustration that things aren’t going how we think they should.

It’s worth a try…

Trust God No Matter What

/ Clay D. / 1 Comment

We all have times in our lives when our faith falters and we begin to doubt God.

We wonder if He’ll be true to His word and follow through with His promises to bless, help, and protect us. It’s natural to find ourselves doubting from time to time because, after all, we’re only human and far from perfect. 

What is the best way to get back on track to the point where we’re relying on God again? No doubt you’ve been in tough situations in your life before—whether it was with money, relationships, your career, your health, or something else. 

Did you pray to God and ask Him for help during these times? Most likely you did. What was the outcome?

Maybe He didn’t answer your prayers in just the way you thought He should; however, He brought you through those trying times in the way that was best for you in the long run (Rom. 8:28).

So, if you’re currently faced with a seemingly insurmountable challenge in your life, the key is to think back on those other tough times and remember how God brought you through them. 

No matter how those other challenges turned out in the physical realm, God was with you every step of the way. He never left your side because He wants what’s best for you and is always working things out on your behalf. 

You are who you are today because of the challenges and circumstances you’ve had to endure in your life up to this point. 

The situation you’re in right now will be just one more example of how God uses our daily lives with all its challenges and trials to mold us into the people He wants us to be. 

But we have to trust Him. When things seem their darkest, recall all the good things He has given you in your life. Spend a few minutes just meditating on ways He has blessed you. 

It could be that He has given you a wonderful and loving family, an enjoyable job you look forward to each day, financial blessings such as an unexpected windfall, or just the ability to take joy in the midst of chronic physical pain each day.

God loves you and wants you to lean on Him. Do it. Trust Him with everything in your life—your time, money, energy, and resources. He WILL come through for you. 

However, don’t expect His help and blessings to look like you think they should, because they often won’t. He’ll work out your situation in His own time frame and in His own way. But you’ll come out on the other side better for it.

God’s Built-in Blessings

/ Clay D. / Leave a comment

If you’re tied into God each day, you’re way ahead of the game when compared to people who don’t recognize God in their everyday lives.

Throughout His word, God promises us provision, blessings, joy, and peace if we’ll only trust in Him and follow His commandments.

If you’re like me and your mind tends to dwell on the negative aspects of life, then it may be helpful to think of each day as already having “built-in” blessings based on the promises of God found in the scriptures.

Picture your life and each day as full of promises for good things that God wants for you. You’re not alone, left fighting each day through this jungle we call life. Rather, you’re on a fantastic journey that God designed just for you before time began. 

“Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be” (Ps. 139:16).

Sure, there will be challenges and perils along the way—there is no way to avoid those as inhabitants of this fallen planet. However, each day holds mystery, meaning, and purpose if only we’ll lean into God, trust and obey Him, and look for His blessings.

Upon reading through the Bible, it is obvious that God wants the best for us. He even tells us that all things will work together for our good if we love Him and are called according to His purpose (Rom. 8:28).

So what are these blessings anyway? Following are just a few of them we’ll find in His word. I encourage you to read the Bible for yourself and discover more of them, perhaps ones that speak to you personally and are particularly applicable to your life and individual circumstances. If you seek God, He will make himself known to you (Deut. 4:29).

Psalm 103 is packed with many promises and provisions. It tells us that we worship a God “who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s” (v. 5).

We also learn that, “As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him” (v. 13).

Also, He will never stop loving us. “But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children—with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts” (vv. 17-18).

Philippians 4 is a passage that I have often referred to in this blog. It has been so helpful to me, and I’m sure to countless others, in trying to overcome anxiety and depression. 

In this chapter, we’re told that if we take everything to God in prayer—trusting Him with our problems instead of worrying about them (v. 6)—then “the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (v. 7).

This is an incredible promise if we can just wrap our minds around it!

He literally commands us not to worry about anything. Have you ever thought about what that really means? If we’re worrying, we’re sinning—it’s as simple as that. 

He promises to flood us with His peace and comfort if we’ll just rejoice in Him (v. 4), pray about everything, and worry about nothing.

Matthew 6 is another powerful passage that truly speaks to those who suffer from depression and anxiety. Besides reiterating that we shouldn’t worry (v. 34), this chapter tells us that God will provide for us. 

“Your heavenly Father knows that you need them [everyday needs like food and clothing]. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (v. 32b-33).

Think about it…God already knows exactly what we need and has made provision for it without us even having to ask Him for it. 

All we need to do is commit our daily lives to following His will and doing His work here on earth. He promises to take care of the rest.

These three passages represent only a small sample of all the many blessings that God has promised for His children. Take some time to search the scriptures for more nuggets of gold that can help you manage the stresses, strains, and challenges of your everyday life. 

Read them over and over, meditate on them, and commit them to memory. Doing so will pay huge dividends in your outlook on your life and your circumstances.

The Path to Real Joy

/ Clay D. / 1 Comment

If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.

John 15:10-11

Simply put, if you’re not obeying God, it’s going to be very hard for you to be joyful in life. The above verse speaks volumes about the relationship between obedience and our quality of life. 

If we’re going through life following our own agenda and paying no attention to God, sooner or later we’ll come to a point where life feels pointless and maybe even hopeless.

I have fallen into this trap myself. Far too often during my adult life, I’ve selfishly pursued my own desires and passions. 

Then one day I’ll wake up and realize that I’ve been traveling the wrong road. The truth will hit me like a brick that I should have stayed close to God and His desires for my life instead of doing whatever I wanted to do.

For a while, I’ll renew my spiritual life—praying more, reading the Bible more, trying to discern God’s will in every area of my life. 

The problem has always been that I don’t keep doing those things. Eventually, something happens (or a series of somethings) and I fall away from God. I pick up my old path of selfish living again.

And the result is that I miss out on a full and joyful life…the life that God intends for each of us to live.

It would be a mistake to take one verse and try to make it THE key to a fulfilling life, but I think that this particular verse does contain a lot of truth that those of us who struggle with depression and anxiety should take to heart.

In the end, obedience to God is really the only way to experience true joy in this life. We’ll still have struggles and challenges to overcome, but our lives will have that little something extra that only those who trust in God have.

It’s joy…peace…fulfillment…contentment. All the above and then some. God wants us to be joyful, and the only way to do that is by listening for His voice and obeying it.

Paint Your Face How You Want to Feel

/ Clay D. / 1 Comment

Have you ever heard the saying, “Fake it till you make it”?

Simply put, it refers to acting a certain way until you actually begin to feel that way. Motivational speakers often explain the power of this life hack to crowds of business or sales professionals.

However, you can use it in your everyday life as well. If you want to feel more confident when you’re at a party or get-together, for example, just act like you are a confident, relaxed person. Walk into the room with your head held high and a walk that says you know what you want out of life.

One of the most important parts of this technique is your facial expression.

Did you know that you can actually trick your mind into thinking you feel a certain way? Normally, we look at things the other way around—whatever emotion we feel or think about (joy, sadness, anger, etc.) is consequently displayed on our face (using our eyes and mouth).

But, the opposite is also true. If we put a big smile on our face, we can’t help but feel better. That’s right, smile really big and see if you don’t feel happier. You can actually change your mood instantly just by changing your facial expression.

That’s what I like to call “Paint Your Face How You Want to Feel,” or PYFHYWTF. If you want to feel joyful, put a big grin on your face. If you want to feel calm and relaxed, smile serenely and narrow your eyes a bit like you’re basking in the breeze on a warm beach and almost ready to doze off.

The effect is even more powerful if you do this while looking in a mirror.

There is an abundance of science behind why smiling makes us feel better. When our smile muscles contract to form a smile, they fire a signal back to the brain to stimulate the production of endorphins, dopamine, and serotonin that make us feel happier.

And when we’re happier, we smile more. It’s a positive reward cycle that can be set into motion just by smiling.

Imagine yourself as being happy and the feelings will follow.

Psychology Today has several online articles about the positive aspects of smiling—here and here are just two of them. The British Council even recommends holding a pencil between our teeth to exercise our smile muscles.

Not that you’d necessarily ever want to feel angry, but if you did, you could make yourself feel that emotion just by creating and angry expression.

That’s why when something small bothers you and you start to show it on your face, the emotions involved can quickly escalate. Before you know it, you’re full of rage over something insignificant.

You have much more power over your emotions than you might have realized.

Go on, give it a try. Stand in front of a mirror and give yourself your best smile and see what happens.