How to Quit Living in Survival Mode

Are you operating in “survival mode”? Does every day feel like you’re just trying to keep your head above water?

Many of us—myself included—have lived far too much of our lives just trying to make it through another day.

It’s like we’ve been thrown into the ocean and we’re fighting desperately to keep from drowning. 

You don’t know how to swim, and you can barely tread water. 

You’re close to going under for the last time while those around you are wearing life jackets, exerting no energy at all to stay afloat. 

You can’t even think about trying to get to shore because all your efforts are going toward simply surviving.

Others appear to be thriving and are making steady progress toward their goal—the beach and the safety it offers. 

You’re terrified that at any moment a huge wave could engulf you, taking you under and sealing your demise.

You can only dream about what it would be like to float effortlessly on top of the water like you see others doing.

It doesn’t sound very appealing, does it? 

Yet, that’s exactly how I’ve lived much of my adult life; maybe you have, too. Each day, I’ve spent my time and energy dealing with the demands and trials of life, waiting for my real life to begin.

That’s right—most days I’ve felt like this wasn’t my “real life”; it was more of a “starter life”—a warm-up to the real thing that I would begin someday when everything fell into place.

You know what I mean. The wonderful, awesome life I’d experience every day when I had more money than I needed, when there were no problems that required my attention, when virtually every moment of every day was as close to perfect as it could be. 

I have believed that that is when my life would begin. 

This fantasy has staked a hold in my brain for decades now. Here I am in my 50s and I’m still waiting for “real life” to begin. For everything to be exactly the way I think it should be. For there to be joy inexpressible every day without any effort on my part.

So far, none of that has happened.

I don’t believe we were put on this earth merely to survive—just to squeak by with no real progress toward anything of significance. 

So, what is the answer to this game of survival that characterizes so many people’s lives?

I certainly don’t have all the answers. If I did, then I wouldn’t have spent so many of my years as described above. 

I believe that to overcome living in survival mode we must take a step back and take a hard look at our lives. We must make a mental shift—doing it daily or even hourly if need be—to see ourselves as living our true lives now.

Life is not about to begin—we certainly don’t have any promises about the future.

Life is the here and now. Today. This hour and this moment. Every minute builds on the one just before it, so if we want to experience all that life offers, we have to live purposefully in the moment. 

We must realize that we have nothing else. The past is history. The future is not guaranteed. This very moment is all we have. 

Make this moment count, so that the next moment is even better.

Take what you have and make it the very best it can be—whether you have the metaphorical life jacket on or not. 

Life doesn’t treat everyone the same way. Some are born with advantages that others can never even dream about. 

It is up to us to use what we have to the best of our ability, realizing that even if we don’t hit every goal, we’ll still be better off than when we started because we did our best every moment of every day.

We have just one life. We must make the most of it every moment of every day.

I’m No Surfer But I Kind of Wish I Were

I’m no surfer. However, I imagine that surfing is at least somewhat like how I’ve tried to live my life.

I’ve imagined what it would feel like to surf. It would be quite the adrenaline rush to look up and see a huge wave rolling in, one that you could ride on and feel like the king of the world. 

While you’re balancing on your board high up on the wave, you could probably see for miles around. Would you even have the forethought or ability to take a look toward the horizon? Or would you be so focused on staying on the wave that nothing else could get your attention?

For that few seconds of glory, life would feel magnificent, like you’re on top of the world and nothing can bring you down. I’d imagine it would be the same sort of exhilarating feeling that skydiving would produce.

You wouldn’t want those few seconds to end. However, you know in the back of your mind that it will all come to an end shortly. You’ll come down off the wave and back to the plane of earth and menial human existence.

As a surfer, you would live for those few seconds…

And that’s how I’ve wanted to live my life. I’ve believed wrongly that life should be about those few seconds riding the wave. And if it isn’t, something is wrong. 

Because, there surely are people who continuously ride that wave. Their lives are wonderful and each day is a new adventure. There are no doldrums in their lives. No major problems. Nothing to pull them down. Just pure bliss and joy. Surely those people exist, right? I’m being sarcastic, of course.

If you don’t have that peace and bliss, what’s the point of living? That’s the question I’ve asked myself when I’ve been at my lowest points. Those are times that I’ve believed life should be about the perfect, the great. That there should never be hard times or difficult circumstances. Life should be lived on that wave.

Alas, I know that’s not the way life works. 

The problem, however, is that I can’t get myself to fully believe that I can’t shortcut the system. That I can forge a new path, one full of happiness and contentment. That if I had enough time and enough money that all would be good. No, all would be great. Part of me just simply refuses to buy into that and I’m not sure why.

I know the Bible even tells us that we will have troubles. It goes so far as to instruct us to “count it all joy” when you encounter various trials. I’m not sure how to do that. I’m not sure I want to do that. It would be somehow like admitting that I’m OK with that kind of life. And I’m really not.

I don’t like it that life is difficult and challenging much of the time. Deep down,  I don’t think it should be that way. In my head, I’ve accepted that life is hard, but in my heart I long for a perfect, easy life—the cruise control life as I’ve called it.