peace

The Art of Practicing Forgiveness

/ Clay D. / Leave a comment

As human beings, perhaps one of the hardest things for us to do is forgive those we perceive as having wronged us. 

We naturally want to hold onto a grudge, wrongfully thinking that somehow that we are “getting back” at that person.

In reality, this does nothing but create a bitter core within us and keep us from experiencing true joy and freedom from those negative feelings. 

Author Marianne Williamson is quoted as saying:

Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

When we hold on to that root of bitterness, it festers in our hearts, and we relive the offending event over and over, sometimes multiple times every day. 

It eats at us, and we can’t get the negative feelings off our hearts and out of our minds.

We should listen to God when He tells us to forgive. Ephesians 4:32 instructs us to:

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Mark 11:25 tells us that we should forgive others so that God can forgive us:

And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.

God doesn’t want us to forgive others so that we can just sweep all our feelings under the rug. He knows that harboring unforgiveness will only hurt us and keep us from experiencing true joy in our lives. 

When we forgive others and let go of all those negative feelings, we can begin to experience the life that God has intended for us. 

We can’t have true joy and peace in our hearts when we’re focusing on the hurts that others have inflicted on us. 

Even if we forgive someone for how they mistreated or wronged us, we may still bring that thought to mind from time to time.

However, if we have forgiven that person,  we won’t dwell on those thoughts. When they do come to mind, they can be quickly dismissed because we are no longer holding onto hard-hearted feelings toward that individual.

We let all that go when we forgive them, realizing that God has forgiven us of our many sins.

Jesus even says that we should forgive others multiple times. When Peter asks Him how many times we should forgive someone—even as many as seven times—Jesus replies:

I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Matt. 18:22 (ESV)

Following Jesus’s example will help us experience more joy and have a more God-focused spirit to love others, understanding that we all make mistakes.

Realizing that we’re forgiven ourselves, and that we should offer this same grace toward the people in our lives, should motivate us to forgive and live in peace and harmony with others.

How to Cultivate a Prayer Life in a Busy World

/ Clay D. / Leave a comment

I used to have a peculiar belief about prayer. I thought that every prayer had to begin with, “Dear God/Lord,” and end in “In Jesus’s name…Amen.”

To me, it just wasn’t a prayer if it didn’t contain these necessary components.

It was as if the prayer was null and void without them—it wasn’t a real prayer with an opening, middle, and closing.

This belief has lasted well into my adult years. Even though in recent years I have come to realize that a prayer can be as simple as, “Help me Lord!”, there is still part of me that wants to hang on to that type of structured prayer.

I mention this to say that prayer doesn’t have to be a rigid practice that we can only do on in private.

Of course, there is a time and place for those prayers. Matthew 6:6 tells us:

But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

We should all make time to be still before God, speaking to Him and listening quietly for His response.

But during the day, when we’re at work, school, or taking care of other responsibilities, we don’t always have access to a private place where we can fall on our knees before God.

In these instances, it’s perfectly fine to pray right where you are in the midst of your day. That may be while driving down the road, sitting in a meeting, or preparing dinner for your family.

God is a big God, with a big, loving heart. And He understands our needs as well as our limitations. 

If all we can do is utter a few words to God asking for help and thanking Him for His answer, I believe He’s OK with that.

I’m sure that back in biblical times, many prayers were uttered during the workday while trying to wrangle a team of oxen in the field.

I bet even Jesus prayed to His father while crafting furniture in His workshop.

The point is that God wants us to have a relationship with Him.  We are encouraged to:

Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. 

James 4:8a

There are two fantastic ways to draw closer to God. One is by reading the Word every day. The other is by talking to Him on a regular basis.

Even though we live a much faster, busier, and more hectic life than our ancestors did, we can still make time to commune with God.

We just have to be intentional about it. Make it a priority to talk to God during your day. 

When you get a break at work, thank Him for the sunshine (or the rain, if you like rainy days). 

Thank Him for the job that He has provided you with to pay your bills. Ask him for inspiration and guidance to get you through the rest of your day.

Say a quick prayer for your family, friends, or coworkers. Ask God to bless them and show them His love. 

Soon, you’ll find yourself interacting more and more with God throughout each day. You’ll feel closer to Him and more in tune with His leading in your life.

Plus, you’re likely to experience more of His peace and contentment, and we could all use more of that.

Can We Really Give God All Our Anxieties?

/ Clay D. / Leave a comment

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

1 Peter 5:6-7

As you read the above verses, what stands out to you? I know that for myself, I am thrilled about the prospect of giving God all my worries. I could do with a lot less of those. 

So when I read this passage, my mind immediately begins focusing on how good it would feel to be completely worry-free, even if for a short period of time.

But then I inevitably begin to doubt what I’ve read. Can it really be possible to live without any anxieties at all? Is God really telling us He wants us to live in perfect peace?

As much as I believe in my heart that He does want us to be worry-free, I’ll admit it is quite difficult to wrap my head around this concept. 

My mind fights hard against the notion of relying completely on God and banishing all anxiety from my life.

I believe that the key to truly understanding these truths down deep in your spirit lies in the first part of the passage. 

Before Peter tells us to cast all our anxieties on the Lord, he says that we must humble ourselves before Him.

So what does it mean to truly humble ourselves before God? 

According to dictionary.com, to humble yourself means “to lower in condition, importance, or dignity; abase.” 

An alternate definition is “to destroy the independence, power, or will of.”

A third definition says the word means “to make meek.”

These definitions give us a lot to digest. One thing that is clear is that if we’re to humble ourselves to God we must give up our will and live by His will. 

We must understand, accept, and act on the fact that God is greater than us.

Fully submitting ourselves to God is not easy, as the flesh fights continually to insert its independence.

Let’s not overlook the fact that Peter tells us to humble ourselves under God’s mighty hand. 

When our lives are completely in submission to God, His hand will protect and guide us, making sure that everything works out for our good (Rom. 8:28).

There is no better and safer place to be than under God’s hand. He will take care of us as long as we humble ourselves before Him.

It is then that we can cast all our cares on Him, because we are completely in submission to His will. 

We can fully count on Him to take care of us, providing everything we need in life (Matt. 6:33).

Humbling ourselves can be difficult, but remembering that God is the all-powerful creator of the universe can help us remember who we are in relation to Him.

Then we will have His perfect peace.

Never Stop Trusting in God

/ Clay D. / Leave a comment

We all know we should trust God. After all, He is the Supreme Creator of the universe and we are His creation. We would not exist without Him and the love He showed when He chose to create us.

With that thought in mind, I’ve put together in no particular order a few verses about trusting in God. Several of these have been important to me when I’ve faced life’s struggles. Perhaps they will help you, too, as you meditate on them. You can easily search the Bible and discover others to add to this list.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Psalm 22:4-5

In you our fathers trusted; they trusted, and you delivered them. To you they cried and were rescued; in you they trusted and were not put to shame.

Isaiah 26:3-4

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.

Psalm 9:10

And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.

Psalm 91:2

I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”

Jeremiah 17:7-8

Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.

Isaiah 12:2

Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation.

Psalm 18:2

The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

Proverbs 29:25

The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.

Romans 15:13

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Just Say No to Perfection

/ Clay D. / Leave a comment

I recently heard Stephen Furtick, pastor of Elevation Church, say something to the effect of, “It’s impossible to experience peace if you’re expecting perfection.”

I believe there is a ton of truth in that statement. Too many times I have fallen into that trap, thinking that once something specific happens, I’ll finally be happy.

Once I make $_____ a year, I’ll have arrived and I can feel like I’ve accomplished something.

Or, once I’m able to buy such and such a car, then I’ll feel good about myself.

The truth is, perfection is a rare bird. If you or I live our lives waiting for it, we’ll spend our whole lives “on hold.” 

We’ll never feel quite right inside—not until we get that one thing we’ve been waiting for. That job, that house, that car, even that spouse.

We’re told in Matthew 6:34, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

We’re not designed to live life thinking, “If only….” Today is all we have. We’re not even guaranteed that we’ll wake up in the morning and have another day on this earth.

We’ll never achieve perfection in these human bodies we inhabit. The world is a broken place, and we must accept that if we’re ever going to experience contentment and peace. 

Embrace your flaws and realize that they’re what make you who you are. 

And while you’re at it, embrace the flaws of others as well. The rest of the people on this planet are in the same situation—they’re not perfect either. Don’t hold them to a higher standard than you hold yourself.

Certainly, we should try our best. But we must realize that our best will not lead us to perfection. 

It’s not the way the world works. Since the moment that the first man and woman took bites from the forbidden fruit, we’ve been unable to attain perfection. 

Take satisfaction with what you have, where you are, and who you are. 

That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to improve ourselves. The minute you stop making forward progress you begin to slip backward.

You’re always moving in one of two directions—progressing toward a better you, or regressing toward a lesser you.

But realize that life is about the journey, not the outcome. Take joy in the steps you make each day toward making your life—and the lives of those you touch—better. 

Be glad that you have the opportunity to make a difference in the world. Just remember that it’s not about perfection, but rather about the process.

I’m No Surfer But I Kind of Wish I Were

/ Clay D. / Leave a comment

I’m no surfer. However, I imagine that surfing is at least somewhat like how I’ve tried to live my life.

I’ve imagined what it would feel like to surf. It would be quite the adrenaline rush to look up and see a huge wave rolling in, one that you could ride on and feel like the king of the world. 

While you’re balancing on your board high up on the wave, you could probably see for miles around. Would you even have the forethought or ability to take a look toward the horizon? Or would you be so focused on staying on the wave that nothing else could get your attention?

For that few seconds of glory, life would feel magnificent, like you’re on top of the world and nothing can bring you down. I’d imagine it would be the same sort of exhilarating feeling that skydiving would produce.

You wouldn’t want those few seconds to end. However, you know in the back of your mind that it will all come to an end shortly. You’ll come down off the wave and back to the plane of earth and menial human existence.

As a surfer, you would live for those few seconds…

And that’s how I’ve wanted to live my life. I’ve believed wrongly that life should be about those few seconds riding the wave. And if it isn’t, something is wrong. 

Because, there surely are people who continuously ride that wave. Their lives are wonderful and each day is a new adventure. There are no doldrums in their lives. No major problems. Nothing to pull them down. Just pure bliss and joy. Surely those people exist, right? I’m being sarcastic, of course.

If you don’t have that peace and bliss, what’s the point of living? That’s the question I’ve asked myself when I’ve been at my lowest points. Those are times that I’ve believed life should be about the perfect, the great. That there should never be hard times or difficult circumstances. Life should be lived on that wave.

Alas, I know that’s not the way life works. 

The problem, however, is that I can’t get myself to fully believe that I can’t shortcut the system. That I can forge a new path, one full of happiness and contentment. That if I had enough time and enough money that all would be good. No, all would be great. Part of me just simply refuses to buy into that and I’m not sure why.

I know the Bible even tells us that we will have troubles. It goes so far as to instruct us to “count it all joy” when you encounter various trials. I’m not sure how to do that. I’m not sure I want to do that. It would be somehow like admitting that I’m OK with that kind of life. And I’m really not.

I don’t like it that life is difficult and challenging much of the time. Deep down,  I don’t think it should be that way. In my head, I’ve accepted that life is hard, but in my heart I long for a perfect, easy life—the cruise control life as I’ve called it.

God’s Built-in Blessings

/ Clay D. / Leave a comment

If you’re tied into God each day, you’re way ahead of the game when compared to people who don’t recognize God in their everyday lives.

Throughout His word, God promises us provision, blessings, joy, and peace if we’ll only trust in Him and follow His commandments.

If you’re like me and your mind tends to dwell on the negative aspects of life, then it may be helpful to think of each day as already having “built-in” blessings based on the promises of God found in the scriptures.

Picture your life and each day as full of promises for good things that God wants for you. You’re not alone, left fighting each day through this jungle we call life. Rather, you’re on a fantastic journey that God designed just for you before time began. 

“Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be” (Ps. 139:16).

Sure, there will be challenges and perils along the way—there is no way to avoid those as inhabitants of this fallen planet. However, each day holds mystery, meaning, and purpose if only we’ll lean into God, trust and obey Him, and look for His blessings.

Upon reading through the Bible, it is obvious that God wants the best for us. He even tells us that all things will work together for our good if we love Him and are called according to His purpose (Rom. 8:28).

So what are these blessings anyway? Following are just a few of them we’ll find in His word. I encourage you to read the Bible for yourself and discover more of them, perhaps ones that speak to you personally and are particularly applicable to your life and individual circumstances. If you seek God, He will make himself known to you (Deut. 4:29).

Psalm 103 is packed with many promises and provisions. It tells us that we worship a God “who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s” (v. 5).

We also learn that, “As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him” (v. 13).

Also, He will never stop loving us. “But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children—with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts” (vv. 17-18).

Philippians 4 is a passage that I have often referred to in this blog. It has been so helpful to me, and I’m sure to countless others, in trying to overcome anxiety and depression. 

In this chapter, we’re told that if we take everything to God in prayer—trusting Him with our problems instead of worrying about them (v. 6)—then “the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (v. 7).

This is an incredible promise if we can just wrap our minds around it!

He literally commands us not to worry about anything. Have you ever thought about what that really means? If we’re worrying, we’re sinning—it’s as simple as that. 

He promises to flood us with His peace and comfort if we’ll just rejoice in Him (v. 4), pray about everything, and worry about nothing.

Matthew 6 is another powerful passage that truly speaks to those who suffer from depression and anxiety. Besides reiterating that we shouldn’t worry (v. 34), this chapter tells us that God will provide for us. 

“Your heavenly Father knows that you need them [everyday needs like food and clothing]. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (v. 32b-33).

Think about it…God already knows exactly what we need and has made provision for it without us even having to ask Him for it. 

All we need to do is commit our daily lives to following His will and doing His work here on earth. He promises to take care of the rest.

These three passages represent only a small sample of all the many blessings that God has promised for His children. Take some time to search the scriptures for more nuggets of gold that can help you manage the stresses, strains, and challenges of your everyday life. 

Read them over and over, meditate on them, and commit them to memory. Doing so will pay huge dividends in your outlook on your life and your circumstances.

The Path to Real Joy

/ Clay D. / 1 Comment

If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.

John 15:10-11

Simply put, if you’re not obeying God, it’s going to be very hard for you to be joyful in life. The above verse speaks volumes about the relationship between obedience and our quality of life. 

If we’re going through life following our own agenda and paying no attention to God, sooner or later we’ll come to a point where life feels pointless and maybe even hopeless.

I have fallen into this trap myself. Far too often during my adult life, I’ve selfishly pursued my own desires and passions. 

Then one day I’ll wake up and realize that I’ve been traveling the wrong road. The truth will hit me like a brick that I should have stayed close to God and His desires for my life instead of doing whatever I wanted to do.

For a while, I’ll renew my spiritual life—praying more, reading the Bible more, trying to discern God’s will in every area of my life. 

The problem has always been that I don’t keep doing those things. Eventually, something happens (or a series of somethings) and I fall away from God. I pick up my old path of selfish living again.

And the result is that I miss out on a full and joyful life…the life that God intends for each of us to live.

It would be a mistake to take one verse and try to make it THE key to a fulfilling life, but I think that this particular verse does contain a lot of truth that those of us who struggle with depression and anxiety should take to heart.

In the end, obedience to God is really the only way to experience true joy in this life. We’ll still have struggles and challenges to overcome, but our lives will have that little something extra that only those who trust in God have.

It’s joy…peace…fulfillment…contentment. All the above and then some. God wants us to be joyful, and the only way to do that is by listening for His voice and obeying it.

Nighttime

/ Clay D. / Leave a comment

I slowly open the back door of my house and step outside, careful not to awaken any sleeping souls. As I step across the threshold into the spring night, a cool breeze caresses my face.  The myriad stars are tiny points of light on the sky’s black canvas.

Another day is nearly over, written in the history book of my life, never to be opened again.  It can and will be recalled, but never reopened, never relived, never improved.  It is truly wonderful to pause and reflect, stretching my thoughts and dreams past the mere happenings of the day.  This was only one of the thousands of days of my life, quite unremarkable from all the others.  Yet, as I reflect on it I am glad it is over.  Even as a twinge of anxiety about tomorrow slyly pinches me, I am grateful that I can say I have survived this day.

Ah night!  Such a wonderful time.  The world sleeps as I stand still in blissful solitude.  Nighttime is truly my time.  That’s when I’m free to be myself, left alone with no interruptions, able to ponder my existence.  When others retire for the night, that’s when I come alive.  Recognizing the opportunity for solitude, my mind awakens from its fog and I make the most of these times simply to think, read, or just sit.  Alone at night is when I feel the most natural and comfortable.  There is no one to interrupt my flow, no one to compete with my thoughts.  My thoughts are mine alone.

As I stand on my deck and look out across the neighborhood at rows of dark houses, their occupants nestled in and slumbering away, I feel superior.  I don’t need sleep at this particular moment.  In a few minutes perhaps I will, but not now.  I win, as it were.

In a few hours, when the sun is peeking above the horizon and showing itself for the first time that day, these same people will begin to stir, will renew the process of convening for the day.  They will once again form little groups in offices and workplaces across the city, repeating their daily rituals. They will compete among themselves to put forth the newest and best ideas, in hopes of solving the problems of the world, and perhaps gain notoriety, fame, and ultimately riches.

But that is all for later.  For now there is simply darkness and quiet, peace and bliss…